Because we have deep love for our adult children and grandchildren, we may tend to allow abuse to continue; whereby, otherwise walk away.
Alienation is willful intimidation. It is an epidemic affecting families, and has no socio-economic boundary.
Abuse tends escalate without the grandparent making sense of what is occurring, perhaps using subtle and unconscious programming.
Are you experiencing any of the following?
Withhold communication with the grandchildren in the form of visits,phone calls, emails, letters, and/or post cards
Keep you from, or severely limit your ability to talk with or visit your grandchildren, with or without informing you of reasons
Avoid including you at holidays, birthdays, school functions, and/or social occasions
Grandchildren not allowed to express their feelings toward grandparents
Unusual behavior from the adult children toward the grandparent
Adult children may ignore your feelings, or make you feel uncomfortable
Grandparents feel their son or daughter has been brainwashed by his or her spouse
Grandparent feels the daughter-in-law or son-in-law speaks for their son or daughter
No approval or appreciation of what you do for your grandchildren or your adult children
Put you down, sometimes in the presence of grandchildren
Irrational behavior such as rage by an alienating parent (adult child) as he/she tries to drive you to accpet the situation in the crazy place where he/she is.
Asking the child to report - spy
Exposing the child to too much information related to adult issues. This scares them, and places doubt about the value and safety of the alienated relative.
Extending a negative campaign to the extended family, and outside the family
Avoid socializing with you
Does not allow you to express feelings
Blames you for problems...real or made up
Deny that their behavior is abusive, or minimize it by belittling you
Attempts to change or control you
Try to control you with lies or contradictions
Try to control with emotions
Demand to control a situation
Demand that you ask permission constantly
Gives away things you have presented to your grandchildren
Threaten to hurt you in some way
Feel parents place negative pressure on the situation